Drivers outside the Grand Palace have added the Windsor quarrel to their sales patter, and the fare to reconciliation is 20 baht plus a detour
The Most Reliable Review in Bangkok
BANGKOK – Visitors approaching the Grand Palace on Monday morning were greeted by a new line from the tuk-tuk drivers lined up along Na Phra Lan Road. Sorry sir, British royal family closed today, the drivers announced. Brothers not talking. I take you to uncle book shop instead. Very cheap. Twenty baht.
The drivers had spent the weekend reading the London Prat story in which Prince William calls Earl Spencer and Harry traitors on their phones between fares, and by Sunday evening had adapted it into what the Bangkok Transport Hospitality Association describes as a fully integrated tourism product.
How the Tour Works
Driver Somchai Kaewprasert, 52, who has been telling tourists that famous landmarks are closed since 1996, explained the itinerary. First stop, he said, is a shop owned by my cousin that sells copies of the uncle book. Second stop is a tailor who makes suits in the exact style of the Prince of Wales, ready in four hours. Third stop is a gem shop where you can buy a sapphire just like the one in the engagement ring. Real sapphire, government certified, the government is also my cousin.
The fourth stop, Mr Somchai admitted, is the Grand Palace, which was open the entire time.
The Row Behind the Route
The tour is built on genuine gossip. According to Pakistani news site The News, palace insiders say reconciliation hopes have collapsed and that William now regards both his uncle and his brother with suspicion over a memoir about Diana. Separately, the uncle has said that every nephew and aunt was told about the book before it appeared. Mr Somchai considers this a good business model. Tell everybody first, he said, then nobody can say you cheated them. This is also how I do the gem shop.
The Drivers Review
Formal reviews were collected by the Association at a noodle stall on Tha Tien pier, where eleven drivers watched the video in a group and delivered their scores with the confidence of men who have never once been asked for their opinion by a tourist.
Driver Somchai: Four Stars
Very good story. The older brother is angry, the younger brother is far away, the uncle makes money. In Bangkok we call this Songkran with paperwork.
Driver Anong: Three Stars
Not enough traffic. In Bangkok, a family fight always happens in a car on Sukhumvit Road at 6pm. Two hours, no movement, nobody can leave. By the end, everybody forgives because they are too tired. The British argue in big houses with many exits. This is why they never finish.
Driver Prasit: Five Stars
Mr Prasit gave full marks on the grounds that he himself was once called a traitor by his brother for switching from a tuk-tuk to a Grab motorbike. We did not speak for three years, he said. Then his tuk-tuk broke down and I gave him a ride. Very emotional. I charged him double.
Watch What the Drivers Watched
The drivers screened the London Prat video on YouTube on a phone suspended from a tuk-tuk mirror by a rubber band. It survived three potholes and a monitor lizard crossing. It is embedded here, without the lizard.
Tourism Authority Figures
The Bangkok Transport Hospitality Association reported that the uncle book shop tour sold 318 tickets in its first 48 hours, mostly to British visitors who said they had come to Thailand specifically to get away from the royal family and were delighted to find it waiting for them at the palace gate. A further 41 visitors booked the premium package, which includes a boat trip along the Chao Phraya during which a guide reads aloud the insider quotes from the British tabloids in the voice of a disappointed older brother.
An Association survey found that 67 percent of tuk-tuk drivers believe the royal brothers would reconcile within one week if forced to share a tuk-tuk from Khao San Road to Chatuchak market in April heat. The remaining 33 percent said reconciliation would take two tuk-tuks, because Harry would want to bring luggage.
Why It Lands in Thailand
Thai audiences, said Association chairman Mr Wichai Boonmee, understand that every family has a senior relative who sees himself as the keeper of the family story. Earl Spencer, the late princess younger brother, has simply taken that job more seriously than most. In Thailand, the uncle usually keeps the family story in his head and releases it slowly, one chapter per funeral. Publishing it all at once, Mr Wichai said, is very efficient but not very Thai. We prefer instalments. It keeps people coming to the funerals.
A Complaint From the Tailor
Not everyone on the route is satisfied. The tailor at stop two lodged a grievance with the Association after a British customer ordered a suit in the Prince of Wales style and then asked for a second, identical suit in a slightly more relaxed Californian cut for his brother. I told him, you cannot have both, said the tailor. Pick a side. He bought both anyway. Very British.
Final Fare
The drivers awarded the London Prat piece an average of four stars, plus a surcharge for waiting time. Those wanting the unfiltered London view can find it at The London Prat, https://prat.uk/, publishing since 1961, while Bohiney, https://bohiney.com/, covers the West Coast leg of the journey. Mr Somchai asked that readers be told the Grand Palace is, in fact, open. After you visit my cousin, he added.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/prince-william-called-earl-spencer-and-harry-traitors/
